Job entitlement: a never-ending cycle of frustration

Entitlement is probably the single biggest factor that holds us all back as human beings, not just in the job market. Entitlement is a complete lack of gratitude and responsibility. It gives us delusions of grandeur. It makes us pass up opportunities and pass over people because we think we "deserve" something "better."

We all think we understand that life isn't fair and that nothing is guaranteed, but few of us have truly internalized the idea. Usually, at best, it's a polite way to tell someone you don't care about their problems. Then, when it's your turn for "undeserved" unpleasantry, just observe how much it stings when someone employs the same technique on you.

It's time to let go of entitlement. You are not not and never will be entitled to ANYTHING, not clean air, not clean water, not food, not shelter, not friends, not family, not love, not sex, not companionship, not medical care, not land, not education, not health, and certainly not a decent career. If you are lucky enough to have any or all of these things, at any point in life, any or all of them can disappear. When you cling to entitlement, you suffer even more.

When it comes to finding work, many of us have completely self-fabricated ideas about what we "deserve."

"I went to college, I shouldn't have to work for THIS wage."
"I've been in this industry for 20 years, I shouldn't have to do THAT."
"My friend owns the company, why should I do THIS?"
"THAT is a job for losers."
"I used to THIS for $70k, I'm not doing THAT for $30k."

We've all thought and said these things, but have never stopped to put entitlement into the equation. Why shouldn't you have to do this or that? What makes you so special? Other people are just not as awesome as you, so they should have to do it?
If you want to keep all those other things you're lucky to have but are not entitled to, doing a job that is "below" you might be necessary. Once you let go of entitlement, your constant misery of not getting the job you "deserve" will evaporate with it.

Of course, this isn't to steer people to the opposite. No one is asking you to do anything against your base morals. No one is asking you to prostitute yourself out to the point where you'll do anything for money. You're only being asked to change your perspective. You may have to temporarily take something "below you" to help pay your bills, you can still enjoy it in some way.

If you spend the whole time pissing and moaning about how it's beneath you, how much money you used to make, how you never used to have to do stuff like this, first of all, you're just angering yourself. Second, people notice that attitude in your words, your body language and your quality of work. It makes you look bad.

Your superiors will notice and you won't ever get ahead. Plus, you don't know who they know. Sure, it might be a manager at McDonald's, but she might know someone who is a manager at IBM. Do you think YOUR name is the one she'll pass along when her friend tells her, "We really need to hire some people, but we don't want to put out job ads?"

Worse than that, your co-workers will notice. Why is it worse? There are a lot more of them then there are superiors, you don't know who they know, and your very presence will insult them. A job that you think is below you is something that someone else worked very hard to obtain and is proud of, so who are you to spit on their achievement? Don't forget, people who work that hard and maintain a good attitude are likely to succeed. Once again, when they do, do you think your name will be the one that they recommend to anyone?

It's so hard to remember these things when you're suffering, when you've gone through so much loss, and so many of us have. It's reasonable to mope and cry and resent your situation, but that can't go on forever. So many people spend decades stuck in this rut of entitlement-created misery. Some NEVER recover. It's natural to want the best for yourself, but it's foolish to expect it.

If you're stuck in one of these ruts, there is one simple way out: gratitude.

Stuff=slavery

So often I hear people talking about how much they hate their job situations, but how much the "can't" do anything about it, "because of the money." Aren't you tired of worrying about the money? Aren't you sick of being a slave to low pay, long hours, poor treatment, and this idea that some asshole came up with about what you are supposed to be doing with your life? Then, stop.

You CAN stop. You can do whatever it is you want to do with your life. You just have to figure out how to change your life to suit what you really want. It probably will not be easy, but is working at a job that constantly makes you envision setting the building on fire so you can be free from cruel and unusual cubicles?

You don't like being a lawyer anymore? Quit. Sell or rent your house, move to a cheap apartment, get rid of all your junk, find a different job. Oh, but I don't want to do that, my house that's chock full of all my stuff is important to me! George Carlin has best explained the human pathological problem with stuff, but in short, your house is nothing but a big pile of shit with a cover on it.

Do me a favor. Right now, look around your room. Look at everything you have in your room. Look at all the stupid shit you've got. Think of how much you spent on everything you can see. Do you need that shit? Can you even find 20 things within your area of vision that you actually need?

I bet you've got plenty of pretty little decorative candles that cost $10 each, that you'd never dream of lighting because they're just so pretty. I bet you've got clothes you haven't worn in at least a year. I bet you've got all kinds of dumb little nicknacks that don't serve a purpose. I bet, if you're a lady, you have fifty different purses, three of which you actually use. I bet you have thousands of free pens, hundreds of which have no ink, but as soon as you pick one up, try to write with it, and discover it has no ink, you stick it right back in the cup you grabbed it from because you can't waste a free pen!

Just stop! Stuff is slavery. You know why you can't leave that job that you hate, that's raising your blood pressure, that's aggravating your ulcer, that's giving you headaches, that keeps you up at night, that's making you wish every second for the sweet release of death so that you wouldn't have to do that god awful job you hate for one single second longer? You can't part with your stuff.

Sure, claim all you want about paying bills and keeping food in your belly, but let's be honest here. Have you never been late on money you knew you owed but didn't pay because you spent that money on some piece of material crap you just had to have when you saw but then you didn't even like it when you got it home anyway? Also, with 70% of Americans being obese, I'd say a few hungry nights might help us all out a bit. Yet, every last one of us has a big pile of shit with a cover on it that we call a home and a horrible job we can't stand to support it.

What a waste of life....

When you're dead, do you think it will really matter how much crap you acquired over your lifetime? Do you think your loved ones are really going to be proud of you for that? If anything, they're going to be pissed at you because as soon as you die, they're going to have to take time off of their meaningless, crappy jobs they hate so they can sort through and take care of all your stuff!

Or worse, do you want your loved ones to remember you as someone who worked so hard that you were never around to give them the love, affection, and attention they desperately needed? All so you could kill yourself in order to provide them this huge pile of shit with a cover on it that they have to sift through after you croak?

When you're lying on your deathbed, looking back at your life, is your bank account and all the stuff you bought with it really going to be on your mind? No. The only thing that will be on your mind is regret for how you wasted the perfectly beautiful privilege of life on stuff, the pursuit of which killed you.

Get rid of what you don't need, acquire only what you do need. Reward yourself only now and then with useless crap. It's fun, but don't let it take over your life.

Update!

As promised, I'll be comin' at ya every Tuesday. The only problem is, I've been so crazy busy that even though technically, it's Wednesday, I am still considering it Tuesday because I haven't gone to bed yet. I want to brag for a second, but also hope to inspire too.

When I was a kid, I fell in love with acting and performing. I participated in the drama club in middle school and was always a member of the advanced production class in high school. Not to toot my own horn, but I've got talent.

Then I went off to college and figured it was time to grow up, get a real job, etc. I studies mass communication (media, basically) and while I really liked it, I always felt a little empty.

After 10 years of tucking my love of acting into a deep crevice of my mind, swearing never to dig it out again for fear of pain and resentment that might stray me from the path of what I thought was mature discipline, I woke up one day and decided to go for it. That day was less less than two months ago. I have since booked four separate, PAID acting jobs. The pay is rather low, as I expected, but I honestly don't care because first, it's experience, and second, IT'S PAID! That's a HUGE deal! I've gotten parts in four out of five auditions that I've attended. That's pretty damn good if I may say so myself. I know that frequency will not likely remain, but I'm still stoked.

Whatever it is you're wanting to do, it's not too late. I know it seems impossible to believe when you're stuck in a depression, but once you put the simplest thing into motion, you'll get what you want. It may come slowly, but it will come. Your brain won't let you forget it. It will nag at you, poke at you, and ask you, "WHY THE HELL HAVEN'T YOU DONE THIS YET?!"

Ask me how I know....because that's what I did for *10* years!

You can't simply dream, you have to DO. Right now, get a piece of paper and a pen or open a blank Word document. Write ONE thing you've always wanted to do. It doesn't have to be some life-altering experience. It can be as simple as going to store that has always looked interesting, but that you've never visited, or reading a certain book, or taking a random art class, or making one phone call to a company you've always been interested in working for. Then do it.

Keep doing it. After you visit that store, read that book. After you finish that book, take that art class. After you take that art class, call that company. You'll condition yourself to say yes to your desires and you'll learn ways to make them happen. You can start making increasingly "harder" goals. It won't be as easy, of course, but what worth having is? Don't believe me? Look at all the obscenely wealthy, yet incredibly vapid losers we all idolize who seem to have everything handed to them by right of birth. Yet somehow, they're miserable, they turn to drugs or other types of thrill seeking, they can't stand the pain of knowing they don't really do anything.

I know, it kinda sounds kooky, like something from The Secret, or one of those other lame self-helpless books, but I'm not claiming anything mythical or mystical....mythistical? Anyway, I am merely suggesting things that you can definitely do, and I'm not basing it off of any defined pseudoscience. These are just simple tasks that anyone with a pen and paper can do.

I know, I know, I know. It's HARD, but think of it the way, you're going to be dead soon. It may seem far off, but it's not. Besides, it could also happen any time, so you have to make the best of your life NOW because when you're dead, it won't matter, even if you do have some kind of spiritual belief about the afterlife. Of course, I'm not here to take that away from you, however, I would love to murder the idea that suffering equals reward. It doesn't. Always keep the Golden Rule. No matter what your beliefs are, if you always consider others, live with passion and goodness, you should still qualify for whatever super-neato, post-mortem experience you subscribe to.

Don't let your "faith" hold you back from anything! Besides, you're not following your faith's rules 100% anyway. More importantly, no belief should get in the way of you doing what you really want...unless your dream is like...stalking some hot celebrity or something. In that case, seek a psychiatrist.

Please, today, right now, this moment, do something that makes you happy, no matter how small.

There's a scam for that

Desperate times create desperate people and with unemployment being "epic" by American standards, scammers just can't resist the urge to take advantage of as many folks as possible  I'm talking about job scams.  You are not stupid if you fall for a scam. Smart people fall for scams all the time. Some scams are more obvious than others. "My name is Mubuto and I am part of the Nigerian royal family, but my dream is to run my own business. I am willing to pay you $1M a year to keep my identity a secret," scams are pretty easy to spot, but other scammers go to great lengths to lull victims into a false sense of security.

Fake websites to match fake job ads to get you to accept fake checks that cost you real money. You'll get fake emails from fake people setting up fake interviews. You'll be told very detailed fake information. You'll be taken to real offices to be given fake presentations and sold fake training materials. The falsities of the job market are enough to make reality tv seem real.

It's not just cheap con artists on craigslist either. Some, who've obviously been successful enough in their scamming, manage to place ads on the higher dollar job sites like simplyhired.com, monster.com, and snagajob.com.  While all these sites have legally binding terms of service, people who break the law for a living aren't really concerned with breaking the rules of a website.

To avoid wasting time and getting scammed in your career search, here are some pointers:


1. Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER pay money to work...EVER! Do not pay for start-up kits, specialized guides, marketing information, instructional materials, training programs, or informational courses. They're all lies. It's frightening how real some scam companies seem, but it doesn't matter how many real people you meet, how nice of an office space they rent, and how many pictures they have of themselves in the Bahamas. It's merely a credit to their abilities to bullshit people out of money. I've even been physically brought in to real, lavish offices full of seemingly real employees sitting at real desks, typing on real computers, using real phones and breaking only to explain to me how their initial $800 investment was a hard decision to make, but now they're livin' large! Doing what? Who knows, but they make a billion dollars a week by doing virtually nothing! Note: No one will tell you exactly what the training covers or what you'll be doing at work until after you've paid for it.



There are exceptions to this rule, but they are very particular exceptions. For example, to work as a lifeguard, you may be required to pay out of pocket for CPR certification through the Red Cross. To work as a personal trainer, you may be required to get a nationally recognized fitness certification such as ACE or ISSA at your own expense. The difference is, these are nationally recognized, public certifications available to anyone and can be used in a variety of ways at your discretion. They're not some top secret method for one company only that costs $800 up front and guarantees you'll make it back quickly in a day as long as you HAVE THE DREAM and stuff enough envelopes one day a week.


2. Never send (or accept) money to anyone you don't know. This is usually an advance-fee fraud. Someone offers you a job, but there is some necessary equipment you need. So, the company will send you a check for $4000 and tell you to take a $1000 signup bonus, spend as much as needed on a list of necessary materials and to wire or send a check back to them for the remaining amount. So, you take the signup bonus, spend $2500 on the equipment and send them a check or a wire transfer for the remaining $500. The problem is, their check was fake. Not only have you sent $500 to someone and bought a pile of crap you don't need, but you're also liable to you bank for the $4000 bad check. 

3. Never buy THE DREAM. If the company's main selling point is, "Look how much money you can make," or, "Look at this fabulous lifestyle you can lead," and not the product itself, then it's a dream only because you'd have to be asleep to believe it. They should be able to tell you what the product is, how it works, and who your target is. If they emphasize income over product, then there is no product or it's a product no one can sell.

4. Stay away from refer-a-friend jobs. This is another technique often, but not exclusively, used by the above dream scammers to sell pyramid schemes. Pyramid schemes are everywhere, but they have new names such as "Multi-level Marketing" or "Vertical Marketing." Arguably, it is possible to make money off of these jobs, but they almost always require an initial investment, knowing all along most people won't make that money back. Since you likely paid a handsome sum for that initial investment your brain really wants to find a way to justify it. Scammers are banking on this principle knowing it makes you more likely to try to get other folks to make the same mistake you did so you can feel like you didn't waste your money. Again, the product should be the focus, not how many friends you can get to fill their basements with herbal supplements they're never going to sell.

5. Africa and Russia have no jobs for you. Unless you're in the Peace Corps, on a specific program, or a Mormon, you're not getting a job Africa, Russia, or Eastern Europe. First of all, Russia, Eastern Europe, and most African countries are facing their own economic, unemployment crises. Boris isn't going to hire an American at $30 an hour to do data entry when he could hire Natasha down the street at an extremely small fraction of that. It's usually bait for an advance-fee scam.There are legit work at home jobs, but they're usually based in your home country.

6. Beware of multiple postings of the exact same job. Some people don't even try to cover their tracks and will post, "EARN $1000 A DAY - ENTRY LEVEL MARKETING - IMMEDIATE START," three times in a row every single day. Some will try to change it up with one instance of the previous quote, one instance of, "Sales and Marketing - Entry Level," and another of, "Immediately hiring entry level sales and marketing," but if upon clicking the ad, you're feeling deja vu, it's the feeling you've been scammed before. These aren't always straight up scams, but when they're not, they're real, albeit extremely unpleasant work such as door to door sales.

7. Look for customized domains. This isn't fool proof because, as mentioned, some scammers do go to great lengths that include fake websites and fake domains, but if someone who claims to work for a multibillion dollar, Fortune 500 company has a hotmail account, you may want to raise an eyebrow. It may seem like for the purpose of hiring, an anonymous email address would make sense to protect the company from receiving a flood of applications through their website. There is a simple solution called "Company Confidential." Through many job sites, companies can post job ads confidentially and will only accept applications through the job site if they don't want a billion phone calls to their offices or a billion applications directly from their Careers page. If your application is received and selected, you should receive an email from an official domain. It may also seem to make sense that a small business would have a regular ol' Yahoo, Hotmail, or Gmail address. Custom domains are not that expensive, a web address is as vital as the yellow pages once were, and if a business is too cheap and incompetent to buy a domain, how much money do you think they're going to spend on you?  Plus, Yahoo, Hotmail, Gmail etc., are free and easy to dump if a scammer is found out.

8. Federal government jobs are available online in one place only: usajobs.gov and it's FREE. Any other company, email, website, job ad, employment offer, or service claiming to offer federal jobs is selling some serious bovine booboo.

9. Craigslist...Craigslist IS a legitimate website that is full of real offers. I have personally found real jobs, paid surveys, and paid focus groups on craigslist.org. It's a great option for small businesses since most of the bigger name sites' ads start at $200. Unfortunately, due to its loose terms of use and inexpensive posting costs, Craigslist is a haven for scammers. While scammers can use any job site, they want to spend the least amount of money to steal the most. Take extra care when viewing ads on Cragislist.


10. If it seems too good to be true, it is. Period.

So, there you have it, the 10 Commandments of avoiding job scams. It is sad there are greedy, sociopathic crooks out there, but the best way to protect yourself is to recognize a scam before it starts. If you have been a victim of a scam, call your bank and credit card companies immediately, place a fraud alert on your credit by contacting Equifax, Experian, or TransUnion (you only need to file it with one of the three), and report it to the Federal Trade Commission.

Have you ever been scammed? Have you ever avoided a scam? Share your stories below!